I was mending another pair of stockings today. I should get used to it. 34 years in the company and Howard fires him. Mending these stockings reminds me of a time a few years back.
Willy had just left again for Boston. It was the first time I'd realized I wasn't enough for my salesman.
30 years as a salesman...as his wife...and I'm not enough.
He'd always warned me that he got lonely-especially when business was bad and there's nobody to talk to. When he gets the feeling the he'll never sell anything again, that he won't be able to make a living for me or the boys...But I always thought that I'd be enough for him to come home to. I try to love him so that even if he comes home without making a penny on commission he knows he'll always have me.
Willy has been gone for two days and he left with my last pair of good stockings.
He thinks I don't know. I can see the regret in his eyes when he comes home. It's that look that keeps me here. He wants so badly to be loved....I want so badly to love him.
So I'll keep mending my stockings. Mending our relationship. Patching holes where holes need to be patched. Loving the imperfections because I can own those.
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